Turning Points
Hmmm, where to start? Lets just say that I've been restless in my thoughts lately. I feel like I'm at a turning point in my life. I could go in two different directions, two very different directions. In one direction lies a great, safe, logical path; while in the other direction lies everything my heart dreams of: adventure and uncertainty. I have a scholarship for school, a great job now and will have one after school. But I only think of escaping it all and living in Tanzania, where I've been invited. True, it is an open invitation and could definitely wait until after school. Which is what everyone is telling me to do. That I should just get my degree and then do whatever I want. This is SO hard for me to do. I am the most impatient person in the world. I want what I want when I want it. That sounds so bad when said out loud!
Everyday I get up and go to work, then the gym, then home. Or work, school, home. It's so routine! I hate routine! I'm so ready for a change I think I'm gonna burst!
Over the weekend I was at the beach and I got the urge to read James. I just opened it up and started reading James 5:7-20. As I was sitting there watching the moon over the water I read all about perseverance in suffering. Although I know that this isn't true suffering for most, it is for me. Just thinking that I won't go to Africa for at least 3 years makes me want to jump off a cliff.
I have to way the pros and cons, and though I know which one will win, it's my heart that loses. I know its not long compared to the rest of my life but, its seems extremely long to me from where I sit now.
The next morning while I took a long walk on the beach I had a chat with God. He gave me a peace about the situation that only He could. Although I still feel like I'm putting my heart on hold, I know it'll be worth it in the end.
So my overall view on the subject is this: Hebrews 12:1 " let us run with perseverence the race marked out for us." Reading the rest of that paragraph makes my current dilema seem meaningless.
Everyday I get up and go to work, then the gym, then home. Or work, school, home. It's so routine! I hate routine! I'm so ready for a change I think I'm gonna burst!
Over the weekend I was at the beach and I got the urge to read James. I just opened it up and started reading James 5:7-20. As I was sitting there watching the moon over the water I read all about perseverance in suffering. Although I know that this isn't true suffering for most, it is for me. Just thinking that I won't go to Africa for at least 3 years makes me want to jump off a cliff.
I have to way the pros and cons, and though I know which one will win, it's my heart that loses. I know its not long compared to the rest of my life but, its seems extremely long to me from where I sit now.
The next morning while I took a long walk on the beach I had a chat with God. He gave me a peace about the situation that only He could. Although I still feel like I'm putting my heart on hold, I know it'll be worth it in the end.
So my overall view on the subject is this: Hebrews 12:1 " let us run with perseverence the race marked out for us." Reading the rest of that paragraph makes my current dilema seem meaningless.
posted by Sarajane @ 8:13 PM
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